The balance of work and being the mom I strive to be has proved to have its challenges (the idea behind RWMOTB). Some days the emotion of not being able to be with or do certain things with my son sparks a good cry, and other days I feel like I am conquering the world. On those good days, I recognize the magnificent balance and totally blessed life that I have –I get to be a therapist (which I LOVE) and spend time with my family (which I also LOVE).
The Caretaker Complex
Sometimes, I find myself feeling jealous of my son’s caretakers. Logically, I am fully aware that I am fortunate to have people spending time with him that love him and teach him when I am not around (and keep him on schedule!). But, emotionally, they get to be with him while my husband and I work, enjoying the giggles and holding him when he is sad—and I want that. I want my superpower to be the ability to be in two places at once.
I was in complete awe the other day when I read an article and learned that there was a mom out there who was confident enough in herself and her bond with her baby that she was in full support of having her friend breastfeed her baby while she watches him during the day. WOW. That’s impressive—to trust in the love, attachment, and balance you have with your child to add another human to the mix. To be able to let go of expectations you may have had and trust the other adult so completely that you can excitedly allow them to become the food source for your child when you cannot.
These two moms are receiving a lot of attention and judgment in this choice they made. No judgment from me—more power to you. Good for them, not for me.
Though I think this may be an extreme example of caretaking 2.0, I know I have a long way to go when it comes to emotionally accepting that I am not the only caretaker in my son’s life. It’s hard just leaving for work in the morning…what the hell am I going to do when my son goes to school?!